08 March 2007

I Blame Drew.

Drew has been on my mind quite a bit lately... (for those who don't know who Drew is, he is my friend who died from Leukemia last November).

In the final months of his life, I watched him live his life, watched him go and do. He traveled, bought things he'd always wanted, did the things he wanted to do. Illness be damned, he did the things that were important to him.

About a week before he died, we were talking about some of the places he'd been to, some of the things he had done, and he told me that one of the most important facets of all the traveling he had been doing had been his companions. That he was able to take his girlfriend and best friends with him to places like Hawaii and Disneyland, that he was able to visit and spend time with great friends in SoCal, was the important part. Also, it was one of the things that struck me hardest.

I came across a great blog written by California Girl this morning, and really started thinking about my life in general. Drew, being exactly my age, brought the idea of mortality into the foreground of my life in a way I had never examined. His brilliant attitude, and shining personality, have always caused me to think, and now I think about the concept of being in an entirely different way.

I have, over the last few months, been making an effort to surround myself with the people I love the most. Because, if I were to die tomorrow, I want to know that I'd made the most of the time I did have by spending it with the people I care about. It is part of the reason I've been making such huge changes in my life.

Thanks to Drew for staying up late nights with me at faire and having a glass of champagne when no one was looking (or being my body guard when a scary someone IS looking).
Thanks to The Muse, for being one of the best friends I've ever had, and providing me with an amazing amount of support (not to mention a healthy dose of paranoia).
Thanks to Tela for being Tela (and all the amazing things that go along with that), and being home right now.
Thanks to CSB for putting up with my eccentricities, making me laugh, and generally sharing yourself and your time with me.
Thanks to Jessa for being an amazing and inspiring spirit in my life.
Thanks to T for all the listening and sharing, and the quiet moments too.
Thanks to Jill for going through it all with me, being there to hold my hand when we both need it.
Thanks to Cami for finding me, friending me, and reminding me that sometimes the past is worth resurrecting.

Thanks for the inspiration, each and every one of you.
Thanks to everyone who reads, calls, writes, and is a part of my life right now, for listening and sharing, and loving me through the good times and bad.
I love you all. I really do. And, if I were to die tomorrow, the most important thing to me is that you all know that you are part of my life by choice, and you are dearly loved and truly appreciated.


Anonymous said...

See now you're going to make me cry. I miss you! I hope we can get together when we're in San Francisco this August.

You are a truly amazing person, stronger than you realize, and more inspirational to others than you could ever know.

I admire, love, and respect you.

CamiKaos said...


i miss you.

Giddy. said...

and I you.

both of you.

thank you.

California Girl said...

What a wonderful post. You seem to have surrounded yourself with really terrific people. And, the fact that you tell them what they mean to you should be a lesson to all. You were lucky to have Drew in your life. He taught you valuable tools by being your friend and allowing you to remain in his life during this bitter time. Living is one of the hardest things we do and for so many, we don't live; we exist. You learned what he taught - what a great inspiration!