21 July 2007

Shoes & Passes

The Short Bus was just standing next to me while I devoured the last Harry Potter book... when I realized he was grunting, and generally making some odd noises.

By the time I looked over, he was just pulling off his pants... over his shoes. Thus, standing there in shoes and a t-shirt... in perfect Archery form.

I think its time for me to make him some passes... because we all know the rules... shoes and passes... that's really all you need. Though... I might just give him a glow stick for the photograph.... ya know, its only right.

20 July 2007

Homeward Bound

Most people are fully aware that my best friend (of 20 years!) has been working on a cruise ship for about a year now. Not having her here during this time of my life has been really difficult, we went from talking daily, to weekly... if we were lucky. She has enjoyed the experience, but being away from family and friends has also been difficult for her.

Yesterday, she called while I was at work. I usually don't answer my phone while on the job, but I just had a feeling, and conveniently, I was in a position where I could answer. It was the greatest call ever. She's coming home on Monday!! Yaaaaaaaaaay! This is an amazing surprise, she wasn't due back until the end of September, and had even mentioned extending her contract until early December.

This officially marks the second time in two days that my co-workers (and the students) have seen me jump up and down screaming (yeah, try doing that while your driving a van in Friday afternoon rush-hour traffic)!

I'm so excited!!
I definitely have some wine shopping to do!

Six Flags Day

Today was the last day of "summer school." The classroom staff decided we would like to do something fun to reward the kids for an excellent school year.... and of course, since Vallejo is so close, we decided on a trip to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom.

At first glance, and after the first phone call, we realized that it was just going to be too expensive. We couldn't afford to take 10 kids and 5 staff to a theme park... the money just wasn't in the budget. I figured there must be *something* I could do... so I told them to give me some time, let me see what I could do.

Of course, I called Glen.

He worked his magic, and managed to somehow acquire 18 complementary tickets from the corporate office for our school. It was amazing. I still can't believe he managed to do it.

We decided not to tell the kids, and just load them up in the vans, and take them. Each staff member told the kids something different... "I thought we were going to..." the library, Jelly Belly factory, park, wal*mart.... yes, we have to have our fun too.

I got to drive the "girls" van. Each time we passed an exit a kid would yell, "you just missed the exit... where are we going?! Are you lost?!" When we got near the park, one of the girls started talking about how she "REALLY needed to use the bathroom... REEEEEALLY!" So, we conveniently turned that into... "well, Six Flags is right here... maybe they'll let you use the bathroom. Yeah... the rest of you guys are going to need to wait in the car while we go in." I'm still shocked that they bought it.

Finally, parked in the lot, we still couldn't get two of them out of the van, "I don't want to go in to watch her pee! Can't I just wait here!?"

"Well, I dunno... I suppose you could wait here... but wouldn't you rather ride some roller coasters?"

"Roller coasters?"

"Yes, would you like to go to Six Flags today?"


"Ok. If you share your candy with me, we can go to Six Flags."

Obviously, they shared their candy.
It was so much fun to watch the realization dawn on them... the teachers had been screwing with them... for heaven knows how long.

The kids had a great day. They rode the rides screaming, and the smiles all around really made me so happy to be able to do my job.

I really wanted to go into more specifics about the day, but I'm so very tired, and all I want to do is shower to wash off the sweat and sunblock.
Thank you Glen.
Thank you Six Flags.
From all of us, Thank You.

10 July 2007

Days Like These

My job is such that if one doesn't laugh, they will most definitely cry. With the insane amount of frustration and stress, it is absolutely imperative to find the funny, and squeeze every last drop out of it.

Some days... the funny finds you...

Student: "Why do you always dress like that?"
Me: "Like what?"
Student: "You always wear black."
Me (mildly uninterested): "Oh... yeah... guess its just my style..."
Student: "Are you really what you said you are? Ya know, when you aren't here..."
Me (becoming slightly more interested): "uh... what did I say?"
Student (leaning in and whispering): "You know... that thing...."
Me (now I'm amused, but assuming a very serious face & attitude): "A Pirate?"
Student: "Yeah... that..."
Me (VERY serious): "Well of course. I wouldn't lie about that kind of thing."

(I went around whistling and/or humming "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me" for the rest of the day, just to keep up the illusion)

*later that day*

Loudest Boy I've Ever Met is eating lunch: "These crackers taste like tea bag!"
Me: Shooting a pointed look at my co-worker, and trying to pretend I didn't hear it, yet, wanting to make sure I wasn't the only one who did.
Vegan Co-Worker: "LoudBoy ..... um..... what did you just say?"
LoudBoy: "I SAID, 'these crackers taste like tea bag'... because they really do."
Me: Staring at Vegan Co-worker pointedly the whole time... until I fall apart... silently.... the tears of laughter (and tears from the pain of trying to contain myself) streaming down my face.
Vegan Co-Worker: Obviously heard the same thing I did (twice)... he just closes the door leaving me to bask in the inappropriate humor .... alone.

I should note that Vegan Co-worker and I were the only ones who found the humor in LoudBoy's commentary. Nothing like a tea-bag joke that only two people in the room get.

*minutes later*

Boy With a Heavy Mexican Accent: "Is there anything you can't eat with your false teeth?"
Vegan Co-Worker: "Well yeah, rocks and trees and stuff."
Boy With a Heavy Mexican Accent: "Oh... I ate a lady once."

(note: exactly what this kid meant is unclear... there are some things one just doesn't ask for clarification on)

Yes, it seems my job really is a LOT like faire.

As if all this hilarity in one day wasn't enough, I had a beautiful bouquet of flowers show up when I got home this afternoon. Thank you SO MUCH Mr. Nanning! I am so touched, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. And, even more so because this is the first time I've ever had flowers delivered to me (I've gotten flowers before, but have NEVER had them delivered from a florist)... such a wonderful surprise. They have their own little table right next to my bed.

08 July 2007

The Star Thrower

This story has been brought to my attention several times in the last couple of days, and it is one that really hits me close to home... I hope you enjoy it as much as I have:

The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

05 July 2007

The word of TXT

I was getting ready to delete my text messages, and as I usually do, I read through them. Really, in context they're pretty funny... out of context, even funnier.

So, I give you a new 'module'.... random things from my phone OR "out of conTXT."
(in the right-hand column)

Either it will be funny, or stupid, or both. Either way, I'll leave it for a while... at least until I get bored.


PS. Tomorrow is Shoe Porn Friday! Hooray!!

04 July 2007


I am learning about independence.

It is difficult.
It is confusing.
It is liberating.
It is amazing.

And yet, I'm finding that 'being on my own' means depending on others more than I ever have in my life.

Asking for help, and asking for what I need (versus what I want, that's a different blog altogether), are not things I've ever done well. There have been times recently when I've actually had to sit down and tell myself, "You need to ask for help with this. And, you need to be ok asking for help with this."

Oddly, I feel like I've learned more about life, living, doing, and being in the last six months, than I did in the previous 30-ish years .

Yes, I spent the three to five years prior to these six to eight months examining myself and my life closely, deciding what it is I want, how I want to live, and how I need to go about getting there. But, to have finally figured it out, and have made so many changes, and to have progressed so far in only six months.... well, yeah, just... cool.

I realize I have a long way to go, but it doesn't seem quite so scary when I look at how far I've come.

Happy independence day to all of you. I depend upon so many for their ability to be loving, supportive, affectionate, hilarious, tender, creative, caring, and kind. I hope that I have been (or will be) there to return the favor should you need it.