So, instead of writing, for the last half hour I've been sitting here "cleaning" off my desk. I tend to clean things while I'm thinking... especially if I'm angry or depressed, which I suppose I am a little of both this evening.
I went with my parents to visit with my grandmother in the nursing home today. My husband decided to go fishing instead. Grandma is starting to go a little senile, and although I know she was happy to see me, I'm also pretty sure I was the only person in the room she couldn't remember.... I'm the only one she didn't address by name, or introduce to the nurses.
Really its fine, I don't take these things personally, I know that she's getting a little senile, but it is hard to see and still hurts. But, to make matters just a little worse, she asked a couple of times where my husband was... and called him by name. Thank goodness my dad was there to answer for me, I think it would have been really hard for me to tell her that he was out fishing.
On the plus side she really enjoyed seeing Jake, and I enjoy seeing her happy... so that's what mattered most. She seemed to be thrilled to see us, and its always nice to see her smiling.
And, just as a somewhat amusing aside, my Grandma wasn't the only person at the nursing home to enjoy Jake's presence. I noticed a few smiles... and many eyes watching him as he played and looked at the fish tank. I'm hoping he made more than just my grandmother's day... he sure made mine.