22 November 2007

Thankful for Unnecessary Anxiety

Over the last 8-10 months, I have felt more anxiety than I have in my whole life put together.

Security, safety, consistancy, money, beliefs, values... all of these things and more have been up in the air at some point; and tend to go in and out of the anxiety machine - like a big tumbling dryer, things go in, things come out, but always with the churning and turning and tumbling, over and over.

Today there was a chance that in the mid-day exchange of The ShortBus, my Ex-husband would meet CSB. Which honestly, doesn't worry me - I have mentioned CSB to The Ex, and my only concern ever was the random chance meeting at the grocery store or whatever, the awkwardness only there because it was out of the blue.

Honestly, I am looking forward to CSB meeting the Ex... allowing him to put a face with the name. But, I think on a somewhat level playing field, its only fair. To walk into the Ex-inlaws house is awkward enough, I really don't want to drag Him into the whole uncomfortable situation. I've made my bed, there is no reason anyone else should have to lie in it.

Overall, there was no reason for the anxiety (as usual), the exchange was slightly awkward:

Ex-Aunt-inlaw: "oh, you're taking [ShortBus]?"
my inside voice: "well DUH! I'm not here for dinner!"
my outside voice: "yep, have a wonderful thanksgiving, it was great to see you."

But, the rest of the day was lovely.

A quiet morning cooking, with CSB for company. The three of us spent the afternoon with my family, drinking, eating, laughing... the usual stuff. Short Bus fell asleep in the car on the way home, while the "adults" digested, and layed around watching TV all evening.

And, to think... its only Thursday.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

1 comment:

CamiKaos said...

Happy saturday after t-day