29 May 2007

Smelling Just as Sweet...

I realized just yesterday that since Friday I've been called so many different names I can't even remember them all...

Giddy, Sugar, Sweetie, Hon, Darlin', and of course, I've been called by the name my mommy gave me (though, spelled in two different ways, which also has an interesting effect)... the list goes on, like I said, I really can't remember. Not to mention random things people call me that haven't come up as recently, Pickles (which, it was recently brought to my attention that maybe 'pretzel' would be more accurate. hahahaha!), Punkin', Kiddo, 'bastardized version of my given name'...

That got me to thinking; am I really all of these people? Am I a different person to different people? Is it odd that the people I'm closest with don't usually call me by a nick-name (with the exception of one, who refuses to call me by my "real" name. He's one of several who would argue that Giddy IS my real name.)? Who the heck am I when I'm all these different people?

I have always loved my name, as common as it may be, I have always felt it was perfect for me. Obviously, I've never used it on the Internets... a girl has to have a little privacy. And, it really is kinda funny when you meet someone for the first time, someone you've been 'friends' with, someone you've been talking to for months, and they say, "so, this may sound strange, but what IS your name?" And I realize, they only know me as Giddy.

It doesn't bother me. I've been Giddy for so long, I actually tend to forget it is an adjective. I respond to it as if it were my birth name... in some circumstances, I will actually respond to it more quickly.

But, it does make me wonder... Who is this Giddy person? Is she the same person as "darlin'" or "sugar" or "pickles"? Are all of those names just different facets that make up 'me'? Or are they all the same person, with a different level of intimacy attached?

What IS in a name? I mean really. Maybe it is just a word which identifies you, but maybe there is something more personal and intimate about it. No matter how common your name might be (the year I was born, my name ranked 4th most popular for girls in the U.S.), it is still personal, and depending on how its said, or who says it, the emotions elicited upon hearing one's name uttered can be very intense (although, I must admit, there have been times when its just downright creepy too).

Am I Giddy (Princess Giddy, Crazy Aunt Giddy, Frickin' Magical Giddy...), Pickles, or Kiddo?
Are you The Muse, CSB, Mrs. Kaos, Princess, or Trouble?
Are those names just small pieces of who we are as a whole? Or, just terms of affection that have very little to do with who we "are" as a person?

Maybe some words only actually carry the importance and power we give them in our own minds.

26 May 2007

The Soundtrack of My Life

Honestly, I've always wanted to do this one... so, because I'm in a mood tonight, I went to the car and got my MP3 dealie....

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to each question, even if it doesn't make sense.

1. Opening Credits:
I Will Survive- Cake (great cover if you haven't heard it)

2. Waking Up:
You Can't Hurry Love - The Supremes (*snicker*)

3. First Day At School:
Drown - Smashing Pumpkins

4. Falling In Love:
Hell - Squirrel Nut Zippers

5. Fight Song:
Friday I'm in Love - The Cure

6. Breaking Up:
Who Can It Be Now - Men at Work

7. Prom:
Never There - Cake (ahahahaha you have no idea)

8. Life:
At Last - Etta James

9. Friends:
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

10. Driving:
Real Situation - Sublime

11. Flashback:
Kiss Them For Me - Siouxie & The Banshees

12. Getting Back Together:
Doin' Time - Sublime (*snicker*)

13. Losing Your Virginity:
Seasons - Chris Cornell (oh man, so perfect it almost hurts... on so many levels. This actually made me tear up a little.)

14. Wedding:
Epic - Faith No More (oh yeah... "you want it all.. but you can't have it...")

15. Birth of a Child:
I'm Every Woman - Chaka Khan

16. Final Battles:
Smile - Lily Allen (Duck Snooooooooooot!)

17. Funeral Song:
If You Don't Know Me By Now - Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes (awesome! hahaha!)

18. End Credits:
Freak on a Leash - Acoustic Live Version, Korn with Amy Lee (bwaaaahahahaha!!!)

oh man.. that was fun...

24 May 2007

Crazy Eights

I was tagged.
Once again... there is no saying no to The Queen of Kaos.

So, without further ado... eight things about me that you might not know (and likely never cared to know):

--> I hate being late so much, that I actually have anxiety attacks when I am. I've mostly learned how to control it, but still have a physical reaction to being late.

--> The only reason I am so organized is because I'm so unorganized. The minute I "let things go" my whole world falls into utter chaos.

--> I don't like to use euphemisms for death. When someone has died, I usually say "they died" instead of 'passed away,' or 'moved on' or whatever. For some reason, all those little catch phrases we use to soften the blow really bug me. I also hate the phrase "bless you" after a sneeze, and seriously dislike the birthday song.

--> In High School, I was voted "most likely to be a mortician" in the school newspaper's spoof on the yearbook's 'most likely' list. The funny thing; I was actually interested in doing just that for a long time, but never told anyone.

--> Can I use the ankle thing again? no? damn. How about saying, I'm more flexible than most, and I don't usually realize it until someone points out that I'm sitting in an 'odd' postion.

--> Even though I am a skeptic, I still play with my tarot cards and rune stones on occasion. And, I have a hard time not believing in some sort of 'after life,' based on some 'odd' experiences I've had. I definitely believe in the unexplained (and unexplainable), and the power of human intuition. It is truely amazing the things our subconcious minds pick up on.

--> I'm not sure I fully understand the concept of 'love.'

--> I have learned more about myself in the last three months, than I did in the previous 32 years combined. And honestly, I couldn't be more pleased.

Tag 8: mum2angus, Pi, Marc, Jill, Captain Black, Pink, Jessica, & Jessa.

21 May 2007

Musical Notes

I totally enjoyed this...

The 25 Most Exquisitely Sad Songs in the Whole World

My favorite part... that you can actually listen to the songs.

19 May 2007

Missing My Best Friend

One of the things I miss most when Tela's off working:

I could call her at almost any time, day or night, and say, "I'm bored, we should hang out." And, she'd say "ok."

I seriously need more friends like that. Or someone who will call me and say, "I'm bored, I'm coming over." Because right now, I'd totally say, "ok."

18 May 2007


This has been the longest week ever.

I started working Monday at a group home/school facility (the kids live/work/go to school on site). So, I've been up at 5am... getting ready, dropping The Short Bus off with The Ex, going to work. Home at 3:30.. picking up the ShortBus at 4:30... making dinner, getting ready for the next day, and dropping into bed exhausted.

On top of it all....

Tuesday; I stepped in a hole at work and nearly broke my ankle. On the way to the hospital, I check my voice mail, and find out that Kindercare is jerking us around, so I have to spend the weekend looking for a new pre-school. The worst part of that is that this Kindercare is like 3 blocks from the house... and an equal distance for The Ex. Damn. It was so convenient.

Wednesday; I go in for x-rays and wait 2 hours for something that took a grand total of five minutes. Then find out that Wednesdays are staff meeting days at work and I'm expected to stay until 4pm (instead of my usual 3). No one told me this... I found out at 3:00... when the meeting started to run me into overtime and I leaned over and asked the girl sitting next to me. Great.

Friday; 3 minutes before I run out the door The Short Bus throws up... not just a little urp... we're talking Exorcist style. It was even green... thank goodness we had pesto pizza for dinner the night before. I do what I can to clean him up... take him to The Ex and say something along the lines of, "he just barfed, I did what I could, but he kinda stinks, and please brush his teeth."

Leave work early, go to mediation (which went really well), go pick up The Short Bus, and my ex-mother-in-law says, "he kind of stinks, you should give him a bath."

Golly, Thanks.

I'm so happy this week is over.

15 May 2007

Endlessly Fascinated

Saturday afternoon after I finished my 'chores' I decided to go into The City and watch the fireworks. One of the local radio stations (KFOG) does an annual concert and fireworks show, and as far as I'm concerned, this show rivals Disneyland in terms of spectacularity (shh. its a word NOW, even though spell check came up with 'no suggestions' hahaha!).
But, this year was the first time I have ever gone into the event itself (usually, we find a nearby location and have our own party), and although I had friends there, they were mostly working all evening, and I spent a majority of the time I was there 'alone.'
Though, saying 'alone' isn't entirely accurate. Not only was there the endlessly fascinating array of people parading through, but as I was thinking that I really wanted to find somewhere to sit down and write a few line about some of what I'd seen, I noticed someone sitting by herself reading a book. So, I plopped down next to her, and beer in hand, began to write.
My notes mostly revolve around humorous things I had been seeing [note #1: falling down drunk privvy guy & girlfriend - yeah, she looks PISSED. The funny part of this story, was that she was standing with her back to the privvy, he came out, looked around and walked in the opposite direction looking for her... she didn't notice for a good 3 minutes. When she turned around and realized other people were going in and and out, and he was gone she freaked. It was a riot].
"Our" Northern faire Pirates were there promoting the Vallejo Pirate Fest, the cinnamon almonds, and Acropolis were also there... not to mention all the familiar faces working other aspects of the show. It was so nice to be in a place like that, and know that I'm still surrounded by family. [note #5: slutty girl's t-shirt , "everyone loves a drunk girl" - find one for faire; nix the pink miniskirt and green fishnets]
It was a great evening, I'm so glad I met The Girl With The Book (we ended up talking for a couple of hours, she was great), and I had so much fun just simply being.
If you're interested, here's the link to the video of the show!
[big thanks again to CSB, I had a great night!]

11 May 2007

Shoe Porn Friday

by request.... the shoes...

Have a great weekend!!

10 May 2007

Because, who can say "no" to the Queen of Kaos?

I don't typically do these... and if I do... I don't blog them.
But ya know, I liked most of these questions.

1.)Q. Can you cook?
A. Yes, yes I can.

2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
A. I wanted to be an actor. Of course, at different times I also wanted to be a singer, a lawyer, president...

3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. the ability to sing... well. And really, I wouldn't mind being able to dance...

4.)Q. Favorite place?
A. Shelter Cove (most of the pacific northwest coast actually)

5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
A. Asparagus & Tomatoes

6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
A. Book 4 of the Camulod Chronicles by Jack Whyte

7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
A. Aquarius

8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
A. Yep.

9.)Q. Worst Habit?
A. smoking

10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Do you want a ride? I might just get out and walk with you if its a nice day...

11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
A. eh.. not a big fan.

12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. skeptical optimist

13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. It depends... but I'm sure we'd both end up laughing.

14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. I'm sure the worst is yet to come...

15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
A. I can put both ankles behind my neck (yes, at the same time). I've been able to do it for as long as I can remember.

16.)Q. Do you have any pets?
A. sorta... I live with two poodles... they aren't mine, but they are trying...

17.)Q. Do u know how to do the macarana?
A. I think I did at one point.

18.)Q. What time is it where you are now?
A. 7:04 pm

19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Yes.

20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
A. I'd probably have my teeth straightened.

21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. very likely your partner in crime.

22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
A. hazel

23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
A. nope

24.)Q. Bottle or Draft?
A. draft

25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
A. Buy a car that gets good gas mileage.

26.)Q. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
A. I don't like any kind of gum.

27.)Q. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
A. Sushi Bar

28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A. sorta

29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Read, Write, Chat

30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
A. Not any more.

31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
A. people who are inconsiderate or judgemental

32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Giddy

04 May 2007

The Rules of the Game

Earlier tonight, I happened to be on the phone with The Muse, when The Short Bus slipped and bumped his head. I went straight into mommy mode, "Oh, ow! Sweetie, do you want me to kiss it?"

The Short Bus replied, "yeah." *with a pouty sniffle and whine on either side*

So, I did. A big loud over-dramatic smooch on the forehead. And somehow, suddenly, the crying was less. I said, "is that better?" The Short Bus says, "yeah." The Muse says, "Sometimes, I really miss those days, when a kiss could make everything better.... hm... there's a blog right there..." (which is why he's The Muse).

And, as he's saying that, I'm thinking something similar, yet, in nearly the same instant, I realize that sometimes... even as an adult... there are kisses that will make the owies less owie. For me, it has been that random kiss on the forehead from a friend who cares, that sweet secret kiss in an office, or an elevator, the kiss that isn't necessarily a 'lets have sex right now' type of kiss, but a kiss which seems to say a little more than that.

I suppose, it just says, "hi, I like you, and I really wanted to kiss you just now, so I did."

No hangups, no questions, no weirdness, no anything... just a kiss. Sweet and (somewhat) innocent, and full of friendship, and caring, and nice. So often in my life, those have been few and far between.

Just minutes ago, I was sitting on the porch watching three grade-school-age girls playing. As the game(s) evolved, I was fascinated, and thrown into a nostalgia I hadn't visited before. When their game changed, from whatever they were in the middle of when I came outside, to "hide and seek tag" it reminded me of my childhood. And, as I'm watching this game evolve, I'm considering how the rules evolve, how the rules changed in the middle of the game, and I'm remembering every adult who ever told me that "wasn't allowed."

"You can't change the rules in the middle of the game, that's not fair" (according to the adults).

But really, isn't that kind of how life works? I mean, the rules are always changing and evolving to suit our needs (or the needs of others). Life isn't fair, and the rules change throughout the game. That's just the way it is. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids that the rules CAN change during the game, but if you are going to make up new rules, you have to allow everyone else to make up rules too.... or... if you are going to make up rules, all the rules you create can't ONLY be a benefit to you, you also have to make rules which benefit others. Maybe that is how we should teach our children to play.

Yes, there is no "base" in hide and seek tag... but, I can call a time out. Its only fair.

(yes, I know this isn't shoe porn, as I promised a few of you... guess you'll just have to wait.)

01 May 2007

Who's Saving Who?

In my adventures today, I picked up a copy of Peter Pan. I was so excited to bring it home and watch it with The Short Bus, he loves pirates, and has never seen the movie.

As I'm sitting here watching it with him, I'm on the verge of tears. What the hell? Wendy! Can't you see what's happening here!? Girl, wake up! This cute, fun boy shows up, and one of the first things he says to you is, "Girls sure do talk a lot." Then, he starts talking about taking her from her home to his where she can take care of him and his friends.

And SHE goes along with it! Really?!

They finally get to Neverland where Peter's bitch friend gets her shot out of the sky, he, of course, saves her life, then when Peter tries to banish Tink, Wendy defends her! When Peter's other friends, the mermaids, try to drown her, she finally tries to stand up for herself, and this time Peter defends the mermaids. At this point, Tiger-Lily shows up. I don't know about you, but if I were Wendy, I'd have a hard time going along with saving yet another friend of his who is going to treat me like crap. Yet, she follows right along.
So, Wendy is expected to be "the mom" while John & Michael are expected to be little boys and "never grow up." She tells stories, gathers firewood, and generally keeps the boys in line, while Captain Hook uses and lies to Tinkerbell... because she's "a jealous female" and can be "talked into anything."
Seriously, could there be any worse portrayal of women?
While these characters have brief moments where they stand up for themselves, the general idea is that women are weak willed, stupid creatures, who are only here to clean up, and ruin everybody's fun.
Even when Tinkerbell saves Peter's life, and he finally tells her, "you mean more to me than anyone in this whole world," she continues to play a secondary role in his life.
All in all, I think my favorite character in the movie is the Crocodile. *sigh*
Some things just aren't the same once you grow up.

May Day

The sun is shining.

The birds are singing.

I'm not quite sure why, but May has always been one of my favorite months. Maybe it has to do with its being right on the edge of summer... before it gets too hot, before it gets too busy. I think this year it is even more poignant, the first full month of my 'new start,' another springtime beginning... a rebirth if you will.

So much to look forward to. New adventures. New friends. New home. New life.

Very excited.
Very happy.

{btw: Happy Birthday Jill!!!}