25 March 2008


Looks like fun... I'm going to try it out! You can find me here: GiddysRuffles

24 March 2008

Happiness is...

I can't help it. I'm happy.

I've been dancing around in my underwear all morning. Singing along with the radio, and just generally enjoying the moment.

The sun is out, the birds are singing, and I had a lovely weekend.

Saturday was a busy day, spending the morning with my family doing egg hunts and eating breakfast, then spending the afternoon with just one of my many 'extended' families. Just a lot of eating and drinking, laughing, and feeling generally at ease, surrounded by caring people, in the safety of the places I call home.

After handing the ShortBus off to his dad on Sunday morning, CSB and I settled into the couch and a day of movie watching. I had planned to make breakfast, and even attempted to start... when I realized, "I don't know how to make eggs any other way than scrambled and hard boiled." And, honestly, I can't remember the last time I scrambled an egg.

Yes, I know... but until just recently (1) I didn't eat breakfast, and (2) I didn't eat eggs. In the last year or so, I have discovered the wonders of the omelette, and eggs florentine, and have started a new appreciation of the egg. Plus, eggs... a good excuse to eat bacon.

So, CSB ended up making breakfast, and we spent a good part of the day relaxing.

Today has been all smiles, sunshine, an excellent interview (Rion, I promise to call you tomorrow), and I'm seriously considering having chocolate cake for dinner.

17 March 2008

On a Clear Day...

Sunday afternoon, CSB took me up to Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve. In the hills above Oakland (or is that considered Berkeley?), we walked up to Round Top, and took in the view. It was such a clear day, not only could you see every bit of Mt. Diablo, but, out to the wind farms along highway 12 (on the way to Rio Vista), and beyond... all the way to the snowy peaks of the Sierras. It was breathtaking.

In more ways than one.

Three-quarters of the way up the hill, I began to wheeze. Literally gasping for air, and still trying to maintain some semblance of dignity in front of him.

"What? Me? No, not dying... breathing... overrated... be fine... just... looking at the stars and spots dancing before my eyes...oooohhhh pretty....."

Obviously I survived. Most of my body is strong. Later that night, yeah, my legs were a little sore... but in a good way (and even that went away really quickly). My lungs. Apparently not so much.

I never meant to smoke for this many years. In fact, the first time I "quit" was exactly when I planned to, my 21st birthday, AFTER the weekend in Vegas. I promised myself I would quit smoking 12 years ago. Don't get me wrong, its not like I haven't tried, and had really long stretches of success... I've quit for a year, twice.

Smoking is the one big weakness in my life that I am actually embarrassed about. And, it's way past time for it to go away. Yesterday, after coming off the hill, I threw away most of a pack of cigarettes (and a lighter), and didn't smoke for the rest of the day. Today is St. Patrick's day (which means drinking, and I don't think Guinness and will power go together so well). Tomorrow morning, I give myself one week of "cutting down" (which basically means I'm going to go down to five or less a day). After that week, done. Once I've completed my first successful week, I will join a gym (because, I am pretty sure I can join a gym for a year, and "weekly" it will cost me about the same -if not less- than a carton of cigarettes). By July 1 I will be able to take that walk again, and not have to talk myself through the process of breathing deeply so I don't hyperventilate.

I'm young (*shaddup smarty pants, I am too*).
And, I have a lot of stuff I still want to do.
And, I really want to be breathing when I do it.

12 March 2008

I love the attention (as if there was ever any question)

Some days, you aren't looking for it, but you are surrounded by compliments, and it is great.

I go to the doctor's office and she says, "wow, you look really nice today."

Her assistant says, "I love your necklace, where did you get it?" I tell her I got it at faire and that results in a conversation between the three of us about how horrible the Vacaville site was, and how much better it is now. And, how much they love faire.

I go to Best Buy for a CD and the cashier says, "I love your shoes!" (I'm wearing the red ones from last Shoe Porn Friday).

I go to pick The Short Bus up from school and one of his teachers says, "I just love your hair, I know I've told you before, but wow... its just great."

So yeah, I felt good when I left the house today, but wow... its nice to hear it.

07 March 2008

Its Shoe Porn Friday!

Yes, they are new...

They are red patent leather...

And they are mine... all mine! Yay me!

05 March 2008

If not now, when?

I have found that if one is constantly waiting for "the perfect time" to do something, that time never occurrs.

The time is always now.
What the hell are we waiting for?

Continuing to wait for the time to be "right"... well, isn't that just procrastination?

03 March 2008

To my Friends:

... through all our petty differences
... all the little things
... any kind of drama we may have

...no matter what, we are still family.

Stronger than tradition, we are chosen. We have made the decision to be what we are to one another... the stronger the love we have for one another, the stronger all other emotions will be.

I have recently learned that it is better to love, or hate, than not have any feelings at all. So, fight for all your worth (but please, remember your boundaries), love all you can (and yet, don't let yourself be broken), and be passionate about all your emotions, feelings, and words toward one another. Just please, don't ever become apathetic.

For me, your passion for life is one of the reasons I love you all so much.

One of the reasons I have such great love for my "chosen" family is that you all have such strong passion... not just for faire, or one another, but for life. Remember that your passions bring you together, but they can also drive you apart. Remember that those passions (even in anger or "drama") are what keep us together, and that those passions are the Important common denominator. They are what keep us coming back to one another.

The strength of our passion is what makes us one.

We are a family. We have spats, we have rivalry, we have drama, but we also have that passion, and a love and understanding most people can't even fathom. When you feel like you need to bring that drama to the forefront, keep in mind that the people you are attacking, are also the people who love you and understand you like none other.

We have made a choice to be a family... and for good reason.

Happiness & Bacon

I'm a pretty darn lucky girl.

Every so often it occurs to me... I'll hear or read a story, something fun, or silly, or sweet, or romantic, and think, "awww.. I want that..."

Then I realize, I either do have, or have had it.

For example, I was listening to the radio the other day, and Hey There Delilah comes on, and I think..."awww... that's sweet, I have always wanted someone to write a song for meeeeee." Then I realize I have several saved on my phone... not really romantic or anything, and definitely not marketable, but funny little songs a very good friend has randomly belted into his phone and left on my voicemail. The last one was a very personalized Happy Birthday song, that made me giggle like crazy when I heard it. What more could I want, someone to sing a song for me, to me, about me, that makes me smile and laugh. Not everyone gets that.

I have been in love (more than once)
I have been on a cruise with my best friend
I've had sweet things said to me that made me blush
I've had someone who cares hold my hand and tell me that everything is going to be ok
I've had a child curl up in my lap, look me in the eye, and tell me they love me
I have been given silly little gifts for no apparent reason
I've been surprised by flowers at my door, just for being me
I've been amazed by jewelry appearing out of thin air
I have had coffee in bed (or waiting for me on the counter, mere moments after getting out of the shower)
I have had bottles of champagne opened for me
I have been fed chocolate
I have had moments of joy, so intense, I thought my heart would burst
I've laughed until I cried (more times than I can count)
I have danced an impromptu waltz to a live band by moonlight
I have been kissed by a gorgeous stranger out of the blue
I woke up from a dream where I was being held by warm caring arms, to find that I was actually in those arms
I have said, "I wish you were here," and had him appear at my door
I've walked into a room and heard my name screamed by a bunch of people (then been tackled by said people)
I have had bacon bloody marys and eggs Florentine made for me on a lazy Sunday morning

Life isn't always perfect, but sometimes, it is.