Stolen from an email:
Someday when my child is old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell him, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes.
Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
I had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
My mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where I was at all times.
You'd think I was a convict in a prison.
She had to know who my friends were, and what I was doing with them.
She insisted that if I said I would be gone for an hour, I would be gone for an hour or less.
I was ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making me work .
I had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash, and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lay awake at night thinking of more things for me to do.
She always insisted on my telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time I was a teenager, she could read my mind and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let my friends just honk the horn when they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.
While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, I had to wait until I was 16.
Because of my mother I missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.
I have never been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.
Now that I have left home, I am an educated, honest adult.
I am doing my best to be a mean parent just like Mom was.
I just want to add... not only was my mom "mean", but she taught me how to be strong, have faith in myself, be a proud feminist, and to love all people equally.
And, she is one of my best friends. I appreciate everything she is, and everything she has done to help make me the woman I am today. I can only hope I'm half the mom to The Short Bus, that she is and has been to me.
Thanks mom. Happy birthday.