21 February 2007

Sex & Chocolate (Part 1)

Article: Not Tonight, Dear

Oh dear... where to begin? It would be so easy to start off saying I feel so sorry for this woman (let's not even mention her poor husband). It would be easy to say that I think she is missing out on one of the greatest pleasures of life. It would be easy to say that she is so wrong it hurt me to read the article.

But, I never go for the easy. That would be way too.... easy.

If you are a woman with a low libido, and you are okay with that, great for you. But, do not tell me that if I have a 'normal,' 'active,' or even 'high' libido that I am faking it. If you consider sex a "chore," you aren't doing it right.... and no; I'm not fooling myself.

I agree, the way the media portrays sex is inaccurate. Of course it is, it's made to get your attention, it's made for entertainment purposes. What is more entertaining than sparking a little lusty fire in your imagination? What is more entertaining than really sexy fantasies? (Besides living them out.) But, Desperate Housewives is quite different than Girls Gone Wild, and if you want to talk about GGW, well, I'll write an entirely different blog. It just doesn't belong here.

Women, historically, have never been allowed to express (let alone experience and enjoy) sexuality. There has always been a certain level of repression, and I for one am glad to finally see a backlash... a sexual awakening, if you will. For hundreds (and thousands) of years, we have been forced to hide and repress our sexuality. Sex has always been for men, and if you want just one example, look at the porn industry.

While a man who enjoys sex is "powerful, potent, virile... a stud," a woman who enjoys sex is a prostitute, a whore, a witch, someone to be looked upon as impure, sick, and disgustingly dirty...not the kind of girl you bring home to mother. Quite a double standard if you ask me, and one which has lasted FAR too long.

Ms. Sewell mentions the “pro-sex feminist” (and you can almost feel her rolling her eyes while she says it). What she’s missing is that having a “robust sex drive” does not mean we’ve “broken through a barrier,” but that acknowledging the fact that women do, and can, enjoy sex (frequency shouldn’t even be an issue), and that women are feeling safe enough to freely express their sexuality, THAT is a huge step. That is a barrier which has needed to be broken for years.

She claims “men are far more interested in sex…” Could this possibly go right back to history, and what I was just discussing? Could it be that men are just more obviously interested in sex? Men are allowed to discuss it, it is socially acceptable for a man to want to ‘get laid.’ In fact, if a man doesn’t discuss sex, people start to wonder about his virility, his sexual orientation, and his ability to perform sexually. Come to think of it, I don’t think it’s necessarily easy on the guys either.

Funny, I’ve always considered myself a “feminist,” but now… oh yeah; I’m definitely a “pro-sex feminist.” Guess what? I’m a woman, and I like sex. *Boo! Did I scare ya?*

(Thanks to CSB for pointing me to the article [among other things], and The Muse for making me giggle while I wrote, and reminding me of the time)

{Stay tuned… a discussion of page three of the interview to be posted tomorrow!}


CamiKaos said...

"Yeah. But the problem with it was that even when I was dating, as a teenager and older, it was difficult. Even if I liked sex, the guy I was with always liked it more. I always felt like I was playing defense."

So I went back and read the article and had to pull the above quote... What is it a competition? They enjoyed it more so she couldn't enjoy it?

and if sex is a "chore" then I have been doing the dishes wrong...

Giddy. said...

I'll never look at the dishes the same again... *sigh*

Angus' Mum said...

I couldn't even read the whole article, my eyes hurt from rolling them so much.

Just because she's a frigid bitch, doesn't mean the rest of us are. Maybe part of the problem is her husband, I mean come on, she married a man named Kip. Who names their kid Kip? That's not a name, it's not even a word. Ugh!

Okay enough rambling.

My sex life is great. I LOVE sex, boy do I love sex. Granted the sex is different now that we have Angus, but even though he's not chasing me around the apartment (for fear of falling over one of Angus' toys and breaking something) when we do have sex it's still great.

Bubblewench said...

I am literally just sitting here after reading that article with my mouth hanging wide open. My jaw is on the desk. WOW! Thank you giddy for pointing out what I also see as flaws in her argument. I could not have put it in words any better.

I sit here thinking "she must be doing something wrong" but is she? She has made a sexual decision. And is following through with support from her husband.

WOW! I really can't even say anything else. I'm still too shocked from her article. Looking forward to the page 3 discussion.

By the way - SEX IS AWESOME. Everyone should have as much as possible. I can't even get enough, but there are times where we will go weeks without it because of time, sickness, or other 'issues'. And I'm not afraid to admit that in public.