02 October 2008
...brought to you by the letter "D" and the number 19.
Tuesday afternoon after work, I had a voice mail from my attorney. Simply, "call us when you get a chance"... I've been a bit busy, so I figured I'd call Wednesday. As Wednesday came and went, I totally forgot. Today, I glance down at my calendar, and see the number sitting there, so I called during my second period break.
Her (paralegal): "did you get it yet?"
Me: "I haven't received any mail from you..."
Her: "oh.. well the final judgement is in the mail, you should get it today or tomorrow."
Me: "well, thank you, but that is somewhat anticlimactic."
Her: "usually people are really excited."
Me: "don't get me wrong, it's just that I was expecting champagne & confetti."
Once I got off the phone I cried some tears of relief... after a year an a half (at least the legal part...), it is finally at an end. I am finally, "officially" divorced. And really, it's funny, as I sat there getting rid of a bit of emotional congestion, I thought, "nothing is technically different than it was yesterday... I don't plan to get married right now, so what does all this actually mean?"
It means I am finally, technically "free." One of the biggest differences between my life right now, and my life two years ago is that NOW I have someone I want to share things with. Someone I WANT to share everything with... then... it was someone I HAD to explain myself to.
I was driving to faire opening weekend, and thinking (as one will do during a 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive), and realized: it is so nice to be driving toward something wonderful, versus driving away from something I want to escape. I've always loved faire, and I've always seen it as coming "home" after a year away... yet, it has always been an escape for me. Not anymore. Faire is a destination, it is driving TO a person and a place I love, versus AWAY from a life I hate.
A lot of you said, "I've seen the married Giddy at faire, I'm fully afraid of the Single Giddy at faire." I knew... from the first time I heard that sentiment, that you were wrong. Who you see now, is much closer to who I am... the person who is real inside of me. The Giddy I was before... well, she was the one avoiding and escaping reality, and she was a character. I'm still me, I'm still fun, I'm oh so much happier than I ever have been... I'm also more true to reality.
Come by Stromboli/Toad this weekend (I'm not on the counter this year, I'm in the kitchen, but ask for me), I'm bringing a bunch of champagne, I want to do a toast with each and every one of you. It's celebration champagne... meet Giddy... she has a boyfriend she loves dearly (and who is getting to toast with the "special" champagne), she wants you to meet a person who isn't uncomfortable with life anymore. Come meet someone who is fully happy with herself, and is well on the way to being the person I always knew was inside.
Here is to being happy with who you are,
comfortable in your own skin,
and finding others who love you for who you are...
no matter how goofy the person you are may be.