29 May 2007

Smelling Just as Sweet...

I realized just yesterday that since Friday I've been called so many different names I can't even remember them all...

Giddy, Sugar, Sweetie, Hon, Darlin', and of course, I've been called by the name my mommy gave me (though, spelled in two different ways, which also has an interesting effect)... the list goes on, like I said, I really can't remember. Not to mention random things people call me that haven't come up as recently, Pickles (which, it was recently brought to my attention that maybe 'pretzel' would be more accurate. hahahaha!), Punkin', Kiddo, 'bastardized version of my given name'...

That got me to thinking; am I really all of these people? Am I a different person to different people? Is it odd that the people I'm closest with don't usually call me by a nick-name (with the exception of one, who refuses to call me by my "real" name. He's one of several who would argue that Giddy IS my real name.)? Who the heck am I when I'm all these different people?

I have always loved my name, as common as it may be, I have always felt it was perfect for me. Obviously, I've never used it on the Internets... a girl has to have a little privacy. And, it really is kinda funny when you meet someone for the first time, someone you've been 'friends' with, someone you've been talking to for months, and they say, "so, this may sound strange, but what IS your name?" And I realize, they only know me as Giddy.

It doesn't bother me. I've been Giddy for so long, I actually tend to forget it is an adjective. I respond to it as if it were my birth name... in some circumstances, I will actually respond to it more quickly.

But, it does make me wonder... Who is this Giddy person? Is she the same person as "darlin'" or "sugar" or "pickles"? Are all of those names just different facets that make up 'me'? Or are they all the same person, with a different level of intimacy attached?

What IS in a name? I mean really. Maybe it is just a word which identifies you, but maybe there is something more personal and intimate about it. No matter how common your name might be (the year I was born, my name ranked 4th most popular for girls in the U.S.), it is still personal, and depending on how its said, or who says it, the emotions elicited upon hearing one's name uttered can be very intense (although, I must admit, there have been times when its just downright creepy too).

Am I Giddy (Princess Giddy, Crazy Aunt Giddy, Frickin' Magical Giddy...), Pickles, or Kiddo?
Are you The Muse, CSB, Mrs. Kaos, Princess, or Trouble?
Are those names just small pieces of who we are as a whole? Or, just terms of affection that have very little to do with who we "are" as a person?

Maybe some words only actually carry the importance and power we give them in our own minds.


CamiKaos said...

wow, I was unprepared for the thinking today... but I am now.

I happen to think the name your mama gave you is gorgeous and fitting so fitting to you, but I think if I mention you to Mr. Kaos I always call you Giddy anyway... But If I am talking to my bro I call you the other. You're you, regardless of what someone utters, but it is interesting to think of what each person identifies you as.

But me, yes I am Mrs. Kaos. No one calls me by my birth name. Mr. Kaos will sometimes write it on an envelope of a particularly sweet card or note, my grandmother uttered it a couple of years ago when I said something scandolous and shocking that made her laugh.

Most people who know me in my everyday life just call me Cami... throw the Kaos on and you've got me... and to some extent I feel like it is a truer name than my "real" one. Maybe because I had to accept it. My birth name I love, but it was mine regardless. I took my husband's name when we married and that was my choice too but it only reflects that I am his wife and the mother of his child...

I never really thought about it but I feel most "me" when I am CamiKaos, because it is a name I readily accepted and encouraged...

Mum2Angus_n_Molly said...

I love your given name, and I love that it's spelled differently, I think it fits you perfectly.

I think the names we have sometimes give us more power in settings where we'd normally feel weak, invisible, and/or intimidated. I believe they belong to different parts of our personalities.

Nicknames (though I've had a few) never seem to stick with me. People try them out for a short while but inevitably come back to my name or a variation of it.

I don't know why this is, and sometimes I feel a little out of the loop with those who have nicknames that have been with them for some time.

Perhaps the uniqueness of my name and the definitions it carries (there are three of them) are enough to embody what and who I am.

Who knows, maybe I'm just full of shit...it has been known to happen. hehehehehehehehe.

California Girl said...

I've often thought about this too. My name really doesn't shorten or really have any way to change it, but I have been known, mostly to my family, with a nickname. They don't call me by my given name. Hon, Sweetie, Ma'am are all names I've also been called. I've always been secretly pleased that my name can't be shortened like Mike for Michael or Dave for David. I've always liked my name...a really good thing!