27 December 2007
A look back
Father: Sarah, are you home?
Sarah: Yeah? Yes, I'm home.
Ludo: Good-bye, Sarah.
Sir Didymus: And remember, Fair maiden, Should you need us...
Hoggle: Yes, should you need us... for any reason at all...
Sarah: I need you Hoggle.
Hoggle: You - you do?
Sarah: I don't know why, but every now and again... in my life, for no reason at all, I need you - all of you
Hoggle: Oh, you do? Well, why didn't you say so?!
I've been thinking about the impending New Year, and all the changes this past year has meant for me. The ups and the downs (ugh... how cliche), the ins and the outs (ugh... how dirty), and all the inbetweens.
I've had my heart broken, and then mended, and then held. Not to mention that bit of it that is sitting on my sleeve, and as much as I try to hide it, it always seems to show. And, really, I'm okay with that. While it is still on the mend, the healing process has been helped along by my caring friends, my amazing best friend, my wonderful family, and... well... someone who has a special place in my heart, like a friend, but just a bit more.
I've gone from Stay-at-home-mom, to working-mom, and back to stay-at-home-mom. I'll likely only be here for a minute, but its nice to be home again. It was also nice to be working again, even though the job wasn't quite the right fit. I'm looking forward to having some time off... just not too much.
I've gone from a big four-bedroom house, to occupying "The West Wing"... which consists of a converted garage, a bedroom (which belongs to The ShortBus), a bathroom, and shared kitchen. But, is also more freedom than I've had in years. I have a couple of cupboards, a shelf in the fridge, and my Kitchen Aid... what more could a girl want?
I've gone from wanting, and wishing, and hoping, and dreaming for more, to actually doing something about it... to going out and taking more out of life. To deciding on what I want, setting goals, realizing dreams, and making things happen for myself... no matter how crazy scary it was. I firmly believe, because of empirical research, that if you want more from life, you have to take it. If change is what you need, be a catalyst, make those changes happen.
When I started down this path, I had no idea if the changes would be good or bad. I knew that the whole process was scary, and that change would happen... for better or worse, change would happen.
Its not all happy, but, what stands out is good.
And, really, what more can I ask for?
I need you, I need you all. That is the biggest, and most important lesson I took away from 2007. That I can ask for help, and it doesn't make me any less of a person. That you, my friends, my family, you are the ones I need... more than anything else, you all mean the world to me. I thank you for being a part of my life, my change, my being. For being the ones I can ask for help, or a shoulder, an ear, or an unquestioned cuddle. And also, for inviting me to be a part of your life, and your changes. Mere words can not express how much you all mean to me, and how important your love and support has been over the last year (and, for some of you, even longer).
I can only hope, that in the future, I can somehow return the favor. Should you ever need me... for any reason at all... all you have to do is say so.