04 May 2007

The Rules of the Game

Earlier tonight, I happened to be on the phone with The Muse, when The Short Bus slipped and bumped his head. I went straight into mommy mode, "Oh, ow! Sweetie, do you want me to kiss it?"

The Short Bus replied, "yeah." *with a pouty sniffle and whine on either side*

So, I did. A big loud over-dramatic smooch on the forehead. And somehow, suddenly, the crying was less. I said, "is that better?" The Short Bus says, "yeah." The Muse says, "Sometimes, I really miss those days, when a kiss could make everything better.... hm... there's a blog right there..." (which is why he's The Muse).

And, as he's saying that, I'm thinking something similar, yet, in nearly the same instant, I realize that sometimes... even as an adult... there are kisses that will make the owies less owie. For me, it has been that random kiss on the forehead from a friend who cares, that sweet secret kiss in an office, or an elevator, the kiss that isn't necessarily a 'lets have sex right now' type of kiss, but a kiss which seems to say a little more than that.

I suppose, it just says, "hi, I like you, and I really wanted to kiss you just now, so I did."

No hangups, no questions, no weirdness, no anything... just a kiss. Sweet and (somewhat) innocent, and full of friendship, and caring, and nice. So often in my life, those have been few and far between.

Just minutes ago, I was sitting on the porch watching three grade-school-age girls playing. As the game(s) evolved, I was fascinated, and thrown into a nostalgia I hadn't visited before. When their game changed, from whatever they were in the middle of when I came outside, to "hide and seek tag" it reminded me of my childhood. And, as I'm watching this game evolve, I'm considering how the rules evolve, how the rules changed in the middle of the game, and I'm remembering every adult who ever told me that "wasn't allowed."

"You can't change the rules in the middle of the game, that's not fair" (according to the adults).

But really, isn't that kind of how life works? I mean, the rules are always changing and evolving to suit our needs (or the needs of others). Life isn't fair, and the rules change throughout the game. That's just the way it is. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids that the rules CAN change during the game, but if you are going to make up new rules, you have to allow everyone else to make up rules too.... or... if you are going to make up rules, all the rules you create can't ONLY be a benefit to you, you also have to make rules which benefit others. Maybe that is how we should teach our children to play.

Yes, there is no "base" in hide and seek tag... but, I can call a time out. Its only fair.

(yes, I know this isn't shoe porn, as I promised a few of you... guess you'll just have to wait.)


Unknown said...

My daycare provider chased me down today after i had dropped off the girls. She comes up and says she just wanted to tell me how beautiful I looked today. Something totally out of left field and my response. . . I lean in and give her a big hug and KISS on the cheek ( I NEVER KISS ANYONE, let alone give hugs) and tell her thank you - I'm going to have a better day because of her comment.

Well it was one of those beginning of the month busiest Fridays and work was a bitch and so was I....I get home from work and AF arrives. The arrival of AF made me think of how much WORSE the day should have been - LOL. ;)

I think the 'changing of the rules' daycare proivider coming out to compliment me and the KISS really made my day better.

and then I read this posting from you.


I miss ya woman!!! If you have time you should totally come by and hang out at work with me - it's an interesting place.

Mum2Angus_n_Molly said...

It stands to reason that the rules MUST change as life is in a constant state of change.

How can we ever grow, learn, and invite new people into our lives if the rules are always the same?